You Could Always Do Hard Things…
…And you were always enough.
What even had you thinking otherwise?
There is a great sketch by comedian Sarah Silverman in which she says, “Stop telling girls they can be everything they want when they grow up. Not because they can’t, but because it never would’ve occurred to them to think that they couldn’t! You’re planting that seed in their heads!”
She adds a healthy dose of humor to it, but she’s dropping a major truth bomb there.
The things we tell ourselves, and speak into existence, are immensely powerful.
As women, what we’re ultimately seeking in this world is freedom. Freedom to move through our daily lives feeling effortless in our bodies, capable in our careers, powerful in our athletic endeavors, wise in our relationships.
In other words, what we’re really seeking is liberation from the cultural scripts that get tied to women like anchors in every generation.
“You’re not thin enough.”
“You’re not pretty enough.”
“That’s a man’s job.”
“You’re not strong enough to handle that.”
The funny thing about these cultural scripts is that they’re like ghosts that only appear if you speak them into existence - which we are inadvertently doing every time we remind ourselves, “I am enough! I can do hard things!”
Um, ladies? Of course you can. Are we seriously having this conversation right now?
In 2025, we’ve mercifully moved beyond the era where women would make ignorant statements like these to ourselves or one another (I hope!).
But what we’re still not doing a good job of grasping is that presuppositions still work in the same way by acknowledging the ghost in the room and speaking it into existence.
“That swimsuit is flattering on your figure” presupposes that your figure isn’t fine just the way it is, and that it has flaws which require “flattering” to be rendered palatable for public viewing. What ever happened to just being allowed to feel awesome in your own skin? Why’s that such a crime? And how many times have you stood in front of the mirror with your daughter/friend/sister/mother by your side watching you critique your body as you squeezed into an outfit while modeling the belief that how you LOOK to others is more important than how you FEEL in your own skin?
This isn’t about nitpicking semantics of every day speech. It’s about being intentional regarding what we speak into truth! We need to presume the world we dream of already exists behind every word that we speak. Presume empowerment. This builds the mental construct in our minds that the world we dream of already exists.
Because the reality is that, when it comes to one’s ability to “do hard things” or “be enough,” it’s really up to us. We can wake up and be that tomorrow, or become that in our very next breath.
When you tell girls they can be whatever they want to be, as Sarah points out, what you’re really teaching them is that there was a time when girls couldn’t be things. That there may still be people out there who believe they can be anything. That those people’s beliefs had to come from somewhere, and maybe girls really are weaker and less capable.
“You are enough” and “you can do hard things” perpetuate those ideas, so we need to drop them from our vocabulary.
Don’t infantilize yourself as if you’re talking to a two year old who just dragged her own big girl stool over to the potty with the praise “See, you can do hard things, honey!” Of course you can. You’re a strong, capable, beautiful human being with infinite potential on this planet limited only by what you choose to believe.
This is Coach Alice here letting you know definitively that you need to replace these scripts in your mind with a new one: